Word o’ God

This morning my good friend at www.themormonmind.com sent me this link…

Mother Teresa’s Crisis of Faith 

The article on CNN about mother Teresa’s struggle with what seemed to me to be a void of any proof in her faith.  It is a rather long article as they go.  And I do not wish to summarize it, but rather make a few comments.  
    Like most people I have experienced some envy in my life.  At times during my TBM days, I would attend a meeting where the speaker would boast of some recent inspiration, or participate in a discussion where someone would relate a dream with evident revelatory content, or even a vision of sorts.  In Sunday school we would discuss biblical visions, early leaders’ experiences of heavenly visitors, modern prophets meetings with deity and our own personal revelations.  I would attend the Temple and sitting in the celestial room, observe other TBMs around me, while they spoke of the overpowering Spirit that enveloped the beautiful room, I felt inferior.   You see, I always had a hard time accepting the feeling of friendship, awe of beauty, and general love of fellow man as anything more than that.  I thought to myself what is wrong with me; does the God that loves all his children not love me as much as he does the bishop?  I prayed for and craved the personal revelation that others claimed.  When ever my current calling (job) at church would require me to seek revelation, with the cooperation of others, I would just agree with their general feelings.  When administering blessings, I would consciously refuse to pre-plan what to say, in an attempt to “allow the spirit to flow”.   I never said anything that I was not completely conscious of, and nothing remotely inspired.  These other people had to be feeling things I was not, receiving promptings that were directed by more than basic human observation.  Oh I grew more envious as time went by.              The zenith was probably when a good friend told me, that while attending sacrament meeting, he was prompted that an elderly woman of the congregation was in need.  He felt compelled to give her a gift of the money he had on his person that day.  She was extremely grateful and very impressed with his reception of the spirit, and now would be able to pay her power bill.  Not to belittle the experience, he was very perceptive of the woman and her current emotional state.  However looking back on it, the woman was well known to be in some form of distress on a regular bases; this distress was generally financial.  Being a very affectionate and caring person he was attentive of her current emotional state.  There was no mystical nudge or angel on his shoulder.  I feel quite silly now for believing there was anything more than what it really was. 

            The simple truth is that even if there is a God he has not made himself known to us.  That is right; the ones who claim he has are either delusional or delusive.